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Core 1 reflection

September 22, 2011

I have written 3 drafts so far, and none of them have more than 20% to do with each other.  This essay has been a first for me, I have never really written multiple drafts.  While writing this essay, figuring out what I am going to write about, and how I am going to write the paper has been a challenge.  As of now I need to make sure my paper flows nicely, and that I am writing about the right things.  I definitely need to work on my conclusion, and my introduction.  My body paragraphs have a common theme, and I want to make sure that it holds the reader’s attention.  I still have a lot of work to do on this essay before it is final.

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One Comment
  1. Ryan your essay was enticing and your use of visuals that people of our age could relate to actually was enough to make me read your entire second draft (rather than skimming it which is no easy task to make me do). I did however as you mention find things you need to work on for example the conclusion is very vague and doesn’t really feel satisfying, please try and add something new in this paragraph to make it keep holding my interest. In addition while the into paragraph is able to get me to want to read more because of the mystery it sets up with not knowing what else i’ll find in your essay it doesn’t quite fulfill the potential it has if more specifics are used.

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